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[綜合]祖國12點已過的深夜虐饅串 [12篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 11:09:20
附圖
星期六沒人開我開
搜索用關鍵字:虐饅

陳年餡文,不過覺得很有趣就來分享
《立法院前ゆっくり》
作者:首投族 (島民)

“ゆっくり權力法”

簡單來說,起初只是有一小部份的人認為,ゆっくり既然會說人話,那就是屬於智慧生物,隨意的虐待ゆっくり簡直就像在虐待人類一樣。接著也開始有人提出了美國曾經奴役黑人,明知道如此是不好的行為,現在的人居然仍在肆無忌憚的虐待、奴役、買賣ゆっくり等等的說法。隨著保障ゆっくり的權力呼聲越來越高,最後,迫於輿論的壓力,各國開始制定了ゆっくり保護法案。

這法案最終要的一點在於,認同ゆっくり與人類擁有同等的權利。

生命權

現在開始所有虐待ゆっくり的行為都會被當作虐待人類一樣,是犯法的行為。如果只限定在虐待行為的話,那倒也沒什麼。可是這個生命權,代表著所有的ゆっくり的生命都是受到保障的,也因此加工廠、養殖場通通都成為了非法的存在,ゆっくり相關的產品也通通都要”埋葬”。

自由權

ゆっくり現在開始有著遷徙及選擇居住地的自由,就算他們占據公園,也要當作”遊民”來看待,不可以進行強制驅離或是屠殺。還有,寵物店以及民眾飼養ゆっくり通通都視為”奴役”行為,必須立刻解放。

財產自主權

現在搶劫ゆっくり的行為是犯法的,無論是搶走ゆっくり的什麼東西(垃圾也算),全都視為搶劫。

當這些細項宣布完畢藉由新聞台跟廣播傳布出去之後,立法院外的ゆっくり以及保護團體們歡聲雷動各個鼓掌叫好。ゆっくり們都相信著,從今天以後,他們也可以在人類先生的城市裡面擁有自己的ゆっくりplace。

-------------------------------

「靈夢可是老頭子的合法養女喔,笨蛋大叔要ゆっくり的理解喔~。」
這是三個月前的新聞,原本作為這個家庭的寵物ゆっくり靈夢由於” ゆっくり權力法”,不得不離開這個家。可是這個家的爺爺捨不得自己的寵物,而且靈夢如果離開這個家的話很有可能會無法在外面生存。所以乾脆去戶政事務所登記,讓靈夢成為自己的合法養女。如此一來,ゆっくり靈夢就可以繼續住在這個家。

後來,老先生去世了。要分遺產的時候,才發現到居然連ゆっくり靈夢也有一份。雖然老先生死前有立遺屬,並沒有ゆっくり靈夢的名字。可是ゆっくり靈夢既然是這個家的養女,就算遺屬上面沒有寫,也應當要有一份特留分。

如果只是這樣,那是上不了新聞的。原本這個家現在的男主人也想說,反正是自己家的寵物,沒關係的。卻萬萬沒有想到,一拿到遺產的ゆっくり靈夢立刻就想要分家,想要搬出去住。這個舉動讓男主人大為光火。

後來打了一場官司,由ゆっくり靈夢勝訴,承認了ゆっくり靈夢的遺產繼承權。這一時之間,讓許許多多的家庭開始中斷自己跟ゆっくり們的養父母關係。同時,也有更多的ゆっくり想要跟人類建立起”家庭”。

「靈夢是悲劇的女主角啊!怎麼可以這樣!」
這是今天早上的新聞,之前那個拿到了部分遺產的ゆっくり靈夢,由於碰到了詐騙集團,所有的積蓄都被騙光了。身無分文的現在,又沒有辦法接受露宿街頭的流浪生活,所以想要回到以前住的地方。

如果對象是跟自己有血緣關係的親人,或許難免會心軟的讓他回來吃軟飯。可是既然是一個見錢眼開的ゆっくり,又有誰會收留呢?這家的男主人當然是怎麼樣也不肯讓ゆっくり靈夢進來。當ゆっくり靈夢想要在門口大鬧時,男主人直接打電話叫警察把她給帶走了。

新聞上沒有報的部分是,那個詐騙集團其實是這家的男主人找來的,五五對分騙回來的錢。

-----------------------------------------------

「ゆ~ゆ~,從今天起,這裡就是靈夢跟可愛的小寶寶的ゆっくりplace!」
「「ゆっくちplace!好大je!」」

「那個…請問你們有要買嗎?」
房仲業者看著ゆっくり靈夢指著桌上的照片對著自家的小孩講經,一臉疑惑地發問。畢竟ゆっくり能做的工作實在太少了,所以大多很窮。能夠來看房子的ゆっくり如果不是曾經是有錢人家的寵物,那八成就是中彩券了吧?

「哼哼~,人類先生不要忌妒有錢錢先生的靈夢喔~。」

說著,丟出了三張看起來爛爛的一百元。這舉動讓房仲業的人備感驚訝,這生物真的一點數字概念也沒有。

「「馬麻好有錢喔!笨蛋大哥哥快點把ゆっくちplace交粗來!」」

雖然子ゆ們開始喧鬧,可是房仲業者還是打算心平氣和地跟親靈夢解釋。

「這樣子不夠喔…只有三百…零五元的話…。」

「老頭子在說什麼東西啊!這可是很多很多的錢錢先生啊!可以買很多很多的好甜好甜的耶!你不懂嗎?笨蛋嗎?死掉了嗎?」

聽到房仲業者的這句話,親靈夢瞪大了眼睛,然後開始咆嘯。房仲業者秉持著善良公民不犯法的精神,繼續慢慢地解釋。

「客人,您想買的那棟房子一戶要價3000萬。就算去掉一個萬字,您還是買不起啊…。」

就算是對數字一點概念也沒有的ゆっくり,聽到這句話也是知道3000萬是很大的數目。可是跟自家的小寶寶吹噓說要來買房子了,如果現在說要回去住紙箱子,只怕面子也掛不住。

一瞬間有太多情報進到腦子裡的親靈夢,短路了。ゆっくり的餡子腦現在開始推卸責任,想知道問題出在哪裏(不能是自己)。

靈夢不夠有錢(X)
房子太貴了(O)

房子太貴了,老頭子說要3000萬。→3000萬一輩子也賺不到

結論:這家店是黑店

「這家店是黑店!是不能ゆっくり的黑店啊!哇哇!欺負單親媽媽的靈夢啊!」
「「黑點!爛黑點」」

ゆっくり靈夢開是在店內到處亂叫,又是撒尿又是撇條,弄得店裡一團糟。迫於無奈,房仲業者只好打了110,理由是”妨礙營業”。

而且ゆっくり靈夢僅有的300元連用來和解都不夠。

[女性角色]園崎詩音 [42篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 11:07:37
附圖
雖然劇中用L5來解釋她的行為
但感覺上即使她沒發病也能夠狠下心上演復仇劇
光武力看應該比不上柴刀,但狠度應該是主角方最高?

[綜合]無題 [49篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 10:13:17
附圖
早餐吃甜甜圈才發現
今天又是ぴょんぴょん的一天= =

[綜合]無題 [32篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 10:06:32
附圖
島民 我剛看完白箱
真的好看阿
2014年好精彩阿
有乒乓、JoJo、Fate ubw、東京殘響、銀河騎士傳、四月是你的謊言
為什麼才過個4年 我卻覺得今年動畫有夠無聊的....
印象深的只有比宇宙還遠的地方跟馬娘而已

[綜合]無題 [2篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:59:11
幹沒人理我ㄛ

[綜合]無題 [9篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:54:19
附圖
做事情要是缺乏正回饋
是不是很快就會失去動力了?

[綜合]無題 [44篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:49:58
附圖
遊戲實況是不是又沒落了阿
撇除競技遊戲與創世神
除了幾個老牌的 幾乎沒新人出現了
而真的存活的也真的也沒幾個

[綜合]無題 [110篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:49:54
附圖
秀桌子的時間到了各位!

[綜合]無題 [4篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:47:25
附圖
吸ㄋㄟㄋㄟ~長大大~~

[綜合]無題 [23篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:45:11
台灣女生絕對不敢點進來正視的影片

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyKUB_yihZk

[男性角色]金固 [94篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-11 04:50:36
附圖
我原本以為金閃閃最討厭偽物
會把他秒殺咧

[綜合]無題 [26篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:57:45
附圖
畫一下本田的買菜車
是跟哭馬萌合作的歐都拜哦!

不要問我這是不是
志摩凜騎的那一台歐都拜!

她騎的是山葉的vino50!!
她騎的是山葉的vino50!!

不是本田...

[綜合]無題 [16篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 13:47:47
附圖
P5喔

[綜合]無題 [48篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 08:45:23
附圖
島島晚安
消夜吃蔥油餅跟吉羊薯薯
明天早上要出門, 可能會晚一點開串
現在就先看看可愛JK屁屁吧

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1UfDoWQdTHjuz422mLQNOERF5U_k_xIsP

[綜合]無題 [9篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 08:26:07
附圖
1883 09 我天天被綜合群島民騷擾連我本人都要肛 請問我菊花很緊嗎 完了屁眼要被肉餅臉開發了

[綜合]無題 [20篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:46:47
8/4
今天是我正常宅男的一天
早上起來,吃一點東西,發呆
然後一點就去游泳
游完後買個優酪乳喝,筋骨痛不能吃香蕉
然後把家裡寄來的牛肉乾跟一些水果吃一下
就等五點去吃晚餐,今天吃牛肉麵
夏天吃牛肉麵真的有病,但是很爽
晚上也沒做什麼事,一整個醉生夢死
真爽= =

[四格]無題 [68篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-05 07:11:36
附圖
https://twitter.com/kasama346/status/1025335513023041536

[四格]無題 [34篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 07:33:16
附圖
無本文

[綜合]無題 [36篇回應]
評分:-1, 年:-1, 月:-1, 週:-1, 日:-1, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 15:25:55
附圖
https://wiki.komica.org/
聽說這圖是林奈花了5k請塗鴉廚畫的?
老實說畫的很……
還有後面是誰啊???

[綜合]無題 [6篇回應]
評分:-1, 年:-1, 月:-1, 週:-1, 日:-1, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 15:25:56
附圖
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkWPB292VuM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW4u-kyyB48

[綜合]無題 [24篇回應]
評分:-1, 年:-1, 月:-1, 週:-1, 日:-1, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 08:15:28
附圖
島島晚上好喔 這邊是塗鴉廚
若是不嫌棄我的狗屎爛畫的話 能請島島點圖或是跟我聊天嗎
一樣畫到累為止

[綜合]無題 [7篇回應]
評分:-1, 年:-1, 月:-1, 週:-1, 日:-1, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 15:25:59
附圖
為什麼路上這麼多騷貨

卻不能強姦?

[綜合]無題 [19篇回應]
評分:1, 年:1, 月:1, 週:1, 日:1, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 09:56:46
附圖
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5aa2efe88eb93

以亞洲人來說已經算大了吧
可是查了一下同一個女優拍的其它片之後…

https://www.pornhub.com/pornstar/alex-grey

假裝有感覺的演出看著真的很空虛呢(笑

[綜合]無題 [13篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 06:20:00
附圖
照~過來

[綜合]無題 [13篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 05:17:14
附圖
聲優對媒體而言是普通人

[綜合]無題 [60篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 05:17:11
附圖
美女聲優上坂堇

[綜合]無題 [382篇回應]
評分:40, 年:40, 月:40, 週:40, 日:40, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2021-10-15 14:50:59
附圖
無本文

[遊戲速報]無題 [16篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 03:19:40
附圖
無本文

[綜合]當玩家都是廢人是不是? [42篇回應]
評分:-2, 年:-2, 月:-2, 週:-2, 日:-2, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2019-04-29 20:38:41
附圖
GBF到底在農啥小啊?
每天光是6屬性的方陣就有4種難度要全部農一輪
N H EX HL
然後還有俗稱的方陣1.5 就是風火輪 阿波羅那些
六屬性再農一輪
然後方陣2.0 什麼軍師 濕婆
他媽的再一輪
我幹你娘 農到這裡就快吐了
可是還沒結束 你還要去單人共鬥解3個任務
然後再去打活動共鬥5場拿獎勵
再來還要自開2場丁丁拿銀天 不然終解十天不夠用
說到終解十天 又要刷他媽的500個白龍鱗
一場才掉2-3個 等於要刷個150場
還要刷500張白紙 這東西可遇不可求 到處都會掉的結果就是要農的時候不知道去哪農
然後幹你娘 都刷完以為沒事? 別傻了 去刷他媽的天使關
天使關刷個10關看有沒有一關EX天使關 帶著你的狗屎十天去打天星器拿一顆碎片
湊他媽40顆碎片 也就是40場才能換一把完整的銀依代
你他媽EX天使關打40場 等於普通天使關起碼刷了300-400場才有
結束了? 結束個屌! 活動獎勵還沒拿完 繼續衝活動
幹你娘公會那些廢人2天升1等 不趕快吃經驗加倍的水滴衝等就跟不上了
刷刷刷 刷刷刷 到底什麼遊戲啊這是?

[綜合]無題 [4篇回應]
評分:0, 年:0, 月:0, 週:0, 日:0, [+1 / -1] 最後更新:2018-08-04 01:54:14
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告白失敗 男國中生竟12樓躍下墜樓亡
台北市1名男國中生(15歲),鼓起勇氣跟同校女同學表達愛意,遭到女同學以年紀還小,不想談戀愛而拒絕,雖有跟家人訴苦,但昨晚仍一時想不開,竟從住家大樓12樓跳樓身亡。

警方表示,男國中生在住家附近就讀國中,與父親、爺爺同住,有語言障礙。他很喜歡同校女同學,前幾天鼓起勇氣,跟對方表白,卻被對方以年紀還小、不想談戀愛,當面拒絕。告白失敗後,他便鬱鬱寡歡。

警方指出,家屬曾詢問男國中生原因,他也坦承是因告白失敗,心情不佳,家屬也給予慰藉及勸導,不料昨傍晚5時許,男國中生返家後竟直接搭電梯到12樓頂樓,隨後墜樓身亡,警消獲報趕抵時,書包仍放置在頂樓,旋即通知家屬處理。

https://tw.appledaily.com/new/realtime/20180804/1404482/

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附圖
一年前一年後

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ptt是不是壞掉了
好無聊
島民請問我該幹嘛

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島島午安, 貼貼JK屁屁
周末有什麼行程?
有點想去看怒火邊界, 但聽說第二集好像變成爽片
天氣仍舊陰陰的
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1aLokujcUq6TRv2cc6RkCO2s-OP8BBeWd

[綜合]PTT斷線一個早上 [18篇回應]
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卻沒有綜合島民在哀號...

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剛才偷穿我姐的衣服打手槍
射出來之後不想動了= =

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還是嗎?

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我的肝…(還ok)

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附圖
無本文

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附圖
沒詳細到我絕不罷休!!!

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來不及完事 越南正妹與男客光屁股遭逮喊「丟人!」

高雄新興警分局獲報轄區七賢一路有美容坊暗藏春色,店內越南妹都頗具姿色,尋芳客絡繹不絕,昨聲請搜索票突襲掃黃,一名越南妹「童恩(譯名)」與呂姓男客正翻雲覆雨,來不及完事穿衣,就光屁股遭逮,直呼「真是丟人!」

新興分局日前接獲民眾檢舉,新興區七賢一路有色情美容坊高掛豔幟,立即指派中正三路派出所員警前往探訪,經多日埋伏蒐證,發現該美容坊客人絡繹不絕,研判檢舉情資屬實,故向高雄地方法院聲請搜索票規劃掃黃行動。

警方昨臨檢該家美容坊,在該美容坊的「02包廂」內查獲呂姓男客(37歲)與越南籍美容師「童恩」(女、29歲)共處一室,警察突然上門查緝,魚水交歡的兩人還來不及穿衣服,光著身子屁股遭逮,直喊「真是丟人!」

警方也在垃圾桶查到使用過保險套、潤滑液等證物,讓兩人百口莫辯,美容師「童恩」坦承以代價2600元與男客從事全套性交易。

而黃姓業者(52歲)到案後亦坦承媒介性交易行為,稱每次性交易40分鐘收費2600元,與小姐相互拆帳,小姐可得2000元,負責人可得600元。

全案訊後將黃姓業者依涉嫌媒介色情違反刑法妨害風化罪嫌移送法辦,另女服務生及男客則以違反社會秩序維護法裁罰。

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日本藥品貴鬆鬆 當地人曝:專宰陸客
三立新聞網
三立新聞網
三立新聞網 setn.com21 小時前
161
國際中心/綜合報導

大陸遊客的足跡遍佈全世界,加上消費力強,不少國家都想搶賺他們的錢。近日有陸媒深入遊日團,發現陸客根本被日本免稅店當「盤子」狠削,有些價錢甚至貴得連日本人都驚呆了。


▲導遊在車上不停推銷藥品。(圖/翻攝自梨視頻)

近日大陸《梨視頻》的記者偽裝成陸客,跟拍遊日團的行程。在影片中可以看到,導遊先是在遊覽車上不停地對遊客推銷酵素、水素杯和赭石手鍊等藥品,等到了免稅店後,導遊更直接和銷售員一起極力推銷貴鬆鬆的產品,還直言「不要再猶豫了,過了這個村就沒了那個店」,要他們大方花錢。


▼▲免稅店商品售價高。(圖/翻攝自梨視頻)


但事後到了坊間藥妝店後,店員直言「免稅店內售價約1100元人民幣(約新台幣5500元)的酵素,一般日本人根本不吃」,還說那是為了營利而生產的,只在免稅店裡賣給外國客;在坊間藥妝店內販賣的,才是一般日本人會買來吃的保健品酵素,且僅需110元人民幣(約新台幣550元),是免稅店產品售價的10%。


▲日本藥劑師直言,日本人不買免稅店商品。(圖/翻攝自梨視頻)

大陸記者把價格高達3050元人民幣(新台幣1.5萬元)的水素杯,拿給日本藥劑師看的時候,對方甚至反問說「這是在日本買的嗎?」聽到價錢更是嚇得直呼「你們真是有錢人!」並表示日本人根本不會買這項商品。看到售價2000元人民幣(約新台幣1萬元)的赭石手鍊,當地民眾還直言,「那大概是10年前流行的東西」。


▲日本人直言赭石手鍊是10年前的流行品。(圖/翻攝自梨視頻)

影片連結:https://goo.gl/omrEhm

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幹...
我打手槍打到鄰居搬家了..

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有什麼有效消除屍臭味的方法嗎
噴芳香劑那些效果好差

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附圖
台男

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台灣阿童世界偉人

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認真問

喜歡幹蘿莉應該大部分都是二次元的吧?

我就只想操爆二次元的 三次元的根本不會有這種想法...

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附圖
偶然看到這一家

好吃嗎

感覺像在抄胖老爹…

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阿童超猛引戰
https://www.facebook.com/atung.taiwan/posts/10155640382738365?comment_id=1882510848711285&notif_id=1533309526712360&notif_t=feed_comment_reply

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幹 不想歧視胖子
但是為什麼胖子這麼臭啊
搭公車的時候上來一個滿身汗的胖子 我操整車臭味
還坐我後面 真的好臭

胖子就不能自己想辦法止汗止臭味嗎 不然就自己帶替換的衣服啊
為什麼要放任自己滿身臭汗....干擾他人

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今晚就吃這樣就好了

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